Friday, June 12, 2009

News

I have something really, really exciting to share with you.

I feel like a new person. Over the past few days it's been a slow progression but I finally feel ready to gain weight. I feel as if a veil named Anorexia has been lifted, and I only have God to thank for that.

The events that preceded my slippery slope of an eating disorder are finally coming to light and I'm able to acknowledge them and move past. I have such an amazing support system here in Columbus - it's great to be back!

I knew this day would come: my self-destructive behaviors have taken quite a toll on my body and now I must deal with the consequences. HOWEVER, I have a healthier take on life than before the massive drop in body weight, i.e. veganism.

Before my lovely vegan friends feel slighted by a girl who only lends fuel to the fire in which omnis insist that all vegans have raging eating disorders, I must clarify. My decision to go vegan stands intact. I love conscious living and my friends and family know that it's 'so me'. I've always teared up at the sight of road kill and named even inanimate objects in an effort to befriend them. As I read in an insightful chapter of Becoming Vegan: regardless of your original agenda in going vegan, many people fall in love with the lifestyle in the process. Healing doesn't mean eating meat (MOM!). Healing means accepting yourself and focusing your energy on making the world a better place, rather than keeping yourself thin.

So to conclude - I 100% plan to remain, and flourish as, a vegan. I've found my soap box. I'm ready to gain weight and attend doctors visit after doctors visit in order to re-start my womanhood...

Follow me as I get healthy inside and out. None of this would be possible without my relationshiop with Christ. We had a long chat last night after the OAR concert - I told him I wanted a relationship and he told me I wasn't ready. I was not happy. BUT, this morning, I woke up and realized that he'd liberated me! :)

3 comments:

  1. Bless you. Dealing with an eating disorder is a struggle no matter what eating plan/philosophy you follow. I am a vegan and have been struggling with bulimia and that mindset for 25 years. The battle seems to never end. Sure, there are good times when the demon seems to sleep and I feel healthy, but under times of stress, it reappears, and old habits come back to the surface.

    I think that in some respects, it is like alcoholism and that the mindset is something which we have to battle our whole lives, though not to the same degree at all times.

    I wish you all the best and send you much strength and vegan healing vibes. :)

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  2. I will pray for you to continue on your goal. I love being vegan. It is the best thing I ever did for myself and my body.

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