Friday, January 8, 2010

Music Meditation

In my quiet time today I felt as if I should hit "shuffle" on my iPod and interpret whichever song came on to be from God. I've interpreted music accordingly since I was pretty young - music hits a place inside that's hard to reach; that place that often hurts. I'd like to let God into that place.

I got "Poison and Wine" by The Civil Wars. Here are the highlights:

You only know what I want you to
(I know everything you don't want me to)
I'm so silly and I always think that I can hide things from Him, i.e. ulterior motives, lusful or otherwise impure thoughts, or being locked into an image-driven mindset.

Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine
(Oooh you think your dreams are the same as mine)
A lot of the time I don't like what I hear from him; the things I should or shouldn't do. .Although reading of his love for me in the Bible is intoxicating...I'm so set on graduating and going into the Peace Corps - what if that's not the best I can do? Perhaps he has bigger things in mind.

Oooh I don't love you, but I always will (x3)
I always will
He doesn't love my sins, which at times consume my thoughts and actions, but He'll always love me.

I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back
(Ooh the less I give, the more I get back)
When I'm stuck in my own ways, choosing sin or my own interests above others - which is quite often - I want His affirming embrace most of all. But through positive reinforcement He guides me away from sin and to an others-focused mentality.

Oh your hands can heal, your hands can bruise
(I don't have a choice, I still choose you)
When I'm not in his grace, my selfish actions have a way of bruising my ego. Now that I know the truth, that God is real, when I don't live what I've learned and I take steps backward on the path, I eat it. Something happens that shows me, "Wow, I'm an idiot on my own." Like last week when I had my 'Day of Mourning' and wrote the New Year's entry. I do have a choice, but I still choose Him.

Oh I don't love you, but I always will (x7)
 I always will (x4)

God doesn't love my sinful ways, but he loves me everyday more than I can imagine. I'm learning that as I count the number of times he reaches me, even when I'm the most self-focused rut.

Sometimes I don't like him, but I'll always love him. When I want to do something my way or when I don't want to make a fool out of myself by telling the girl at the bus stop that "I feel like God's telling me to let you know that He loves you," I choose my comfort over the abundant joy that's available on his path.

I feel truly alive when I'm serving others and meeting their needs. I loose myself in the well being of another person and it's so freeing! It generally accepted that part of human health is a spiritual outlet - I believe we as humans were created to live in a relationship with God. Humans all over the world practice prayer and meditation not because we're collectively weak but because we're strong enough to forgo our own needs.

**Question: Do you exercise yourself spiritually? If so, how?

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