Retiring from babysitting and some tasty cous cous

Today was my last day of babysitting EVER. Seriously, I'm retired. I'll babysit my nieces and nephews, or my friends' babies, but no more prostituting my ego and gas money for me, measly pennies.

It's strange how no diss hurts more than one from a nine-year-old. Children state the obvious about the way that you look unabashedly. I wish they understood "polite" conversation does not include imitating the shape of a person's nose with sound effects or relating to the clarity of a person's skin with that of a raspberry. ouch.

Luckily today I only had the 13-year-old, since the younger two started school. We went to Easton to visit Teavana, my new favorite little shop. You should check them out. The salespeople teach you a lot as you select your loose leaves.

The picture above shows Brittany modeling some stilettos at Steve Madden. I still shop like a middle schooler: always touching and trying things on without actually buying. That's what happens when you're perpetually broke. At least I clean up after myself, though.

I came home starved, as I'd only eaten a Clif Bar for lunch (Blueberry Crisp flavor). I threw together a tasty concoction you can see below:
I browned some onion with garlic and added basil, terragon, and chili powder. Then I sliced and added a tomato we grew in my parent's backyard and some chickpeas. Then I poured in 1/3 cup of whole wheat cous cous and 1/3 cup water and let it soak up the water for five minutes. At the end I stirred in a small handful of raisins and sliced avocado on top. I've been obsessed with avocados lately.

Speaking of obsessions, babysitting got me back in the loop of the good shows on Disney Channel. I'm watching (and laughing out loud at)Phineas and Ferb as I write this. It's about two boys spending their summer vacation building insane inventions. It's so sarcastic and witty. It speaks to me.

My absolute favorite is Wizards of Waverly Place. Far from Harry Potter, the main character is super sassy. Disney has sure amped up their comedy from that sitcom trash they used to play.

Tonight I'm going to see Inglorious Basterds, which is supposed to be good. Cool.

Go listen to: Ben Folds and Regina Spektor - You Don't Know Me

If I could hire a private chef, I would hire someone who was born in India. I went to dinner at Taj Mahal last night, tomorrow I'm getting lunch with a friend who really wants to eat Indian (any suggestions as to which restaurant we should go to?)tomorrow afternoon, and I'm getting dinner at Banana Leaf to celebrate the first day of Ramadan with Sheema, (my fellow non-muslim friends) Katie, and Ashley.

Afterwards the less morally inclined of us will join my parents party already in progress. To paint a picture for you, one year I was greeted at the door of the luau by our family friend, Stu, dressed in a coconut bra and grass skirt over only a pair of khaki cargo shorts. The loud and confusing encounter prepared me for what was inside.

Okay, my family is sane most of the time, but we sure know how to let our hair down.

I will finally be finished babysitting on Wednesday, which will be a relief. On Tuesday we went to Cedar Point. I skipped out on some of the really big coasters, but I revisited some old favorites like the Magnum, Blue Streak, and Gemini. It brought back a bunch of memories from going during Halloweekends when I was younger.

Mmmmm - my mom just brought home a ton of chopped bok choy, bean sprouts, and romaine lettuce from her friend the caterer. Hello, salad.

This summer, in between babysitting and church meetings I've been watching a LOT of treash reality TV like Dating in the Dark, More to Love, and Hell's Kitchen. Unfortunately, the only movies I've really seen were with the kids: Aliens in the Attic, G-Force, Paul Blart Mall Cop, and Transformers 2, but also Funny People and Night at the Museum 2 with Katie.

I hated everything except Night at the Museum! I never saw the first one so I plan to soon.

In my spiritual life I felt pretty stagnant at the beginning of the summer. A couple of weeks ago I finally voiced those feelings to the people around me. The girls in my homegroup didn't really react...at all. Mom mom, on the other hand, offered to start studying with me every morning before we both go off to work. It's been such a great experience praying and reading the word with her in the morning! It has completely transformed the spiritual tone of my summer. Now, I feel as if God has been usuing me this whole time. He's blessing me with the comfort of my parents' home for the last time. In a little over a week I'll be moving into my first house, where I'll live for two years, until I graduate and move God knows where.

Big changes lie ahead...I'm excited more than anything. Life begins here.

I'm Mad at Myself

Go listen to: The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Heads Will Roll

I'm mad at myself for not posting this summer, like, at all. What the hell.

Well, I may as well update you on my life as of late. I babysit throughout the week for a family with three kids. They're a major challenge but I love them.

My hair has purple in it, thanks to my cousin Ashley who works at Jolie Laide. There are purple extensions throughout the sides, cut to a match the length. I'm in love with it. If you live in Columbus, consider going there for your next cut. I'm completely honest when I say it's the best salon I've ever been to. Penzone's included.

I've been doing as much of my shopping at the Clintonville Community Market as possible. It's right next to the school that I went to for eleven years, so the whole area makes me nostalgic. Plus I like to support the co-op, of course.

I have a few photos of food that I prepared at the beginning of the summer. I'll load them very soon - for now I'll tell you what I've been into more recently:
-Peanut Butter Puffins cereal
-Ezekiel 4:9 bread (that's nothing new)
-Almond Breeze, vanilla unsweetened
-Medjool dates
-Whole wheat pasta covered in nutritional yeast, olive oil, and black pepper
-Biting into an apple, then eating a pecan, and repeating

I hang out with my mom a lot. We drink a lot of wine and sit in the backyard talking about everything. It's nice but I'm really bored in Columbus. I'm itching to get back to Athens and to move into my HOUSE!!

Summer! Part One

I should really post something!! Before I left Athens I had aspirations of posting frequently, inspired by visions of myself cooking vegan banquets every night and documenting them for you all. Alas, I am lazy. I hate washing dishes and I rarely have the time to spend 2 hrs going from pan to plate.

My staples are baked tofu tossed in soy sauce, hummus, soymilk, and ezekiel bread.

Having food on hand 24/7 is quite a change - a change for my scale, that is. I'm trying to stay distracted from that fact with my day-to-day activities. Babysitting for a 9-year-old with ADHD and her two older, hated step-siblings keeps me on my toes. I like taking them out to do things that I remember doing, or wanting to do, as a kid. Today we went to the Anthony Thomas chocolate factory; it was like Willy Wonka without all of the technicolor wonder.

Lalala...well I will share some pictures with you soon - as soon as me and my digicam are in the same room. Ha.

RIP

I just got news that a boy I went to high school with - and who goes to OU with me now - was stabbed and killed at ComFest last night.

The details are fuzzy, but what is known about the altercation is here.

His name is Brian Barbin and he's a good kid. We talk frequently at school, and he deserved so much better than to die at the end of a knife.

If you're religious please pray for his family and friends.

((More posts to come on what I've been doing lately))

Blahh...

As soon as I feel on top of the world...

I've been eating a bit more than usual since I've come home, both because there's yummy food around and because I've stopped obsessing over calories. My lack of photos is testament to the fact that I've been eating without putting much thought or care into the food.

I freaked out this morning, having snacked all night last night, and my mom came into my room as I was crying. I had never had "the conversation" with her regarding my eating disorder and it was finally time.

Overall it went well. She saw me drop 30 lbs last year so it was no huge shock, my friends and extended family all had their suspicions. She asked questions and she let me answer them. Mostly now I just feel really relieved - a weight has been lifted. She knows not to make comments to me about calories or my weight at a given period of time.

The best part was that as she leads a class for women who have been sexually abused she has materials at hand regarding coping mechanisms. She shared a paper with me that had to do with the difference between being responsible to and being responsible for someone. I always take on "project friends": the people who I think I can fix. Instead of listening to them and asking about how they're doing as a person or the root of the problem, I think of the practical solution to the problem. If they don't do what I recommended they do I'm frustrated and hurt.

Lately, too, my dad has been drinking a lot. For a man with a family and personal history of alcoholism, that's no bueno. Thursday night he went out to some bars alone and stayed out really late. He says he met some young kids who "respected him" and he was talking to them about motorcycles - his love. He has been really self-focused and moody, too. My dad is a teaser and lately the only conversations we've had have been him teasing me about food and me laughing them off. It hurts my feelings when he does this, but if he didn't relate to me in that way he wouldn't be talking to me at all. I need quality Dad time.

Rarely do I cry but when I do it's straight-up waterworks. Today was no exception. I couldn't stop and it was therapudic! I didn't even care.

My brother came over while my mom and I were talking and we had a good convo about spiritual attack. Satan is totally getting at me where my weakness lies because I haven't been into the Word on a regular basis or striving for the goals I set for the summer. I fully plan to get on that beginning tomorrow morning. My mom and brother both see the same things in my dad that I do and my mom plans to talk to him about it. (The drinking, the self-focus, and the anti-social mentality)

I've always thought of myself as the glue that held my family together and the stress that creates is immense. I eat when I'm anxious and the anxiety comes from the feelings I leach from my friends and family. I need to learn how to not own other people's emotion (I'm a painfully empathetic person)in order to be a better friend and worker for God.

News

I have something really, really exciting to share with you.

I feel like a new person. Over the past few days it's been a slow progression but I finally feel ready to gain weight. I feel as if a veil named Anorexia has been lifted, and I only have God to thank for that.

The events that preceded my slippery slope of an eating disorder are finally coming to light and I'm able to acknowledge them and move past. I have such an amazing support system here in Columbus - it's great to be back!

I knew this day would come: my self-destructive behaviors have taken quite a toll on my body and now I must deal with the consequences. HOWEVER, I have a healthier take on life than before the massive drop in body weight, i.e. veganism.

Before my lovely vegan friends feel slighted by a girl who only lends fuel to the fire in which omnis insist that all vegans have raging eating disorders, I must clarify. My decision to go vegan stands intact. I love conscious living and my friends and family know that it's 'so me'. I've always teared up at the sight of road kill and named even inanimate objects in an effort to befriend them. As I read in an insightful chapter of Becoming Vegan: regardless of your original agenda in going vegan, many people fall in love with the lifestyle in the process. Healing doesn't mean eating meat (MOM!). Healing means accepting yourself and focusing your energy on making the world a better place, rather than keeping yourself thin.

So to conclude - I 100% plan to remain, and flourish as, a vegan. I've found my soap box. I'm ready to gain weight and attend doctors visit after doctors visit in order to re-start my womanhood...

Follow me as I get healthy inside and out. None of this would be possible without my relationshiop with Christ. We had a long chat last night after the OAR concert - I told him I wanted a relationship and he told me I wasn't ready. I was not happy. BUT, this morning, I woke up and realized that he'd liberated me! :)